I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize