I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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