I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Randomize
