Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
