Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
