Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
