Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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