Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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