is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Boobs are out for the taking
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
