Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
