Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Randomize
