I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
