Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
