He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
