Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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