I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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