so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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