You were right. It hurts to walk today.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
