The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
