They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
