I seem to have left my pride at pride
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
