Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
being pregnant is like rehab
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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