Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
