I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Randomize
