Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
