WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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