wakey wakey hands off snakey
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
