oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
