i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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