went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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