yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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