having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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