Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
he puts the penis in happiness.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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