his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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