Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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