we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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