im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
