So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
