Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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