I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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