my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
