You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
