She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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