Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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