Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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