she woke up with a sticky ear
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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