Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
In America we eat man semen.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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