I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
