His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
