Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
