So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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