I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
