I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
