You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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