can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
