I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
