this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
