if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
