For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
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