omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
