girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
