she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
