is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
its liver damage thursday
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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